Flare ups and fed up

Hi Everyone,

I hope you’re all doing well and enjoying your weekend! I’m currently in bed with the boyf watching Hell’s Kitchen on Netflix drugged up to my eyeballs.

I’m sorry I haven’t written a blog in a while, I am having the mother of all flare ups and have fallen arse over tit down the stairs and done ligament damage to my knee, I’m back on my crutches and generally having a shit time.

I am pretty much at breaking point, it’s not until you have a bad flare for the first time in about a year that you miss your independence. I’m having to ask for help to get dressed, to get drinks to go to the toilet and I just miss my life.

I always think like I’m stronger than this and I can be independent and I don’t want to ask for help, as a matter of fact I do need help and I’m just too stubborn to ask. Asking for help does not make you weak it means you have realised that actually you do need help and no you can’t manage on your own and that’s perfectly okay.

This is something that has taken me a long time to get used to and I still cry if I ask for help sometimes because I feel like a hindrance. Whereas actually I’m not and I just need some support and everyone that I ask is so understanding and is willing to help.

Me and Ross went food shopping last night and it actually infuriated me, I Have never come across so many ignorant people until I go into Tesco on crutches….if you see someone struggling please don’t continue to push your trolley towards them expecting them to move out of the way for you…also regardless don’t continue to walk towards them or stop in front of them just to be an arse! Don’t look them up and down and give a dirty look learn some respect and just be mindful, my day is hard enough without encountering people like that I would never do that to someone so I’d hope others wouldn’t do it to me, just because I’m young and you see no cast or no visible signs of injury doesn’t mean you can judge me for needing support.

I cannot believe that in this generation we are still judging people because we can’t see their impairment, just because I am not in a wheelchair does not mean that my disabilities are not “bad, serious” enough to mean that I don’t deserve extra help. No I’m not living off the government or claiming benefits I still work while I can and I WILL NOT be painted with the same brush as those who feel it is okay to judge someone.

I get that I look young and I should be able to live my life without a blue badge but I can’t. I shouldn’t have to not want to use it because I feel guilty because someone has looked at me funny, and made me feel like I don’t deserve to have one.

Please can I ask if you take 1 thing from this blog it’s that you are kind and considerate to others. Learn their story before you pass judgement, if you don’t have anything nice to say keep your mouth shut! It’s not hard to be nice and it shouldn’t be acceptable to make someone who is struggling feel like a piece of shit on your shoe.

I’m going to sign off now before I rant to the point of no return. It frustrates me so much that I have to talk about this in so many blogs it’s not hard to not be a giant dickhead, if I can be nice to the people that judge me you can be nice to anyone

Scarlett x

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