I hope you’re all doing well, I’m currently sat on the sofa in my pjs desperately trying not to itch my new tattoo!! (It’s a unicorn and she’s called petunia by the way…is it weird I’ve named her?)
I wanted to talk about 2018 so far, sorry I’ve not done a blog in a while, Christmas was a bit tough for me cause my mental health deteriorated on Christmas Day of all days so I spent most of my time off work in my pjs feeling sorry for myself. But other than that it was fab we had a lovely time at ross’ families and also at mine, I slapped a smile on and powered through in my typical fashion!
So far in 2018 I am struggling, I am trying to lose 4 stone by the end of the year this year as I hate how heavy I am and I hate the way I look (sorry to admit that but yes I am a girl and I care about the way I look). I’ve gained 4 stone since being with Ross and that’s because he makes me so happy and comfortable that I’ve lost sight of what I looked like when I met him.
So that’s one goal for 2018 goal number 2 was to reach out to my best friend Amy (and yes Amy I know you’re here so hi love) we fell out of contact around a year ago and I’ve missed her like crazy I made mistakes and thought she hated me and honestly it’s like having lost a limb and finding it again as they say! I’m so glad she’s back even if she’s a bit nuts but hey all the best ones are.
I am struggling with my mental health again at the moment, I had a meltdown last night about my weight not going down quick enough and that I hated everything and I just wanted to wake up in someone else’s body this morning. I’ve had a lot of time to think about that today and actually I wouldn’t give my illnesses to anyone mainly because it wouldn’t be fair on the poor bastard! And also because they are part of what makes me, me yes they suck, yes they ruin parts of my life but they are part of me and I will accept that eventually.
This year for me is about being positive and not letting them stop me, we have so much planned this year that I will not let them ruin me. Yes down days are fine and understandable but to me it is so important to live your life to the fullest you can regardless of your illnesses and disabilities. If someone in your life is trying to hold you back and discourage you because you are poorly get rid of them from your life (unless their your parent then ignore my advice as you’re probably trying to make a horrible life choice and then my advice would be awful). If it’s a friend that is ignoring you and leaving you out of plans because you said no once or cancelled last minute, then lose them because they are not a friend.
You can only do what you can and it’s important that what you can and want to do Is going to change your life for the better or it’s going to make you happy. Happiness is the 1 rule to living a good life.
Signing off for now