Let’s talk honestly 

Hi everyone, I hope you are all doing well, sorry I haven't blogged in a few weeks but I've been having the worst 3 weeks I've had in ages. 

Sadly like all chronic conditions you have some of the worst up and downs imaginable, so the past three weeks for me has been a hospital visit multiple partial dislocations and a lot of pain…along with many codeine highs, many mental break downs and a self esteem level of about 1%.

I realise my last 2 blogs have been a bit depressing however I feel like it is my place to explain this side of these conditions as well, if I want to educate people about these invisible illnesses then you need to know the bad sides as well. 

I realise that I am lucky that I do still get to experience the up days as well as the bad, however I have always been the person that puts other people before myself and I am very stubborn, unwilling to accept that I do need help and I can't do everything on my own like I should be able to at the age of 20. 

When you end up partially dislocating 4 different body parts a day and have chronic depression and anxiety it means you find it incredibly hard to get out of bed every day and also to keep up relationships with people. I will be forever great full for the people that have truly stuck by me during all of this, even if I do have to bail on plans because I need to sleep or because I physically cannot move. 

You really learn during all of this the people that genuinely care about you and the the people that are not bothered at all and will just as easily drop you as they picked you up to begin with. If I didn't have Ross and my friends frankie, Matt and Leanne I wouldn't be the person that I am today. 

I know I am stubborn and can be hard work (I feel this especially applies to Ross) as I do not want him to have to do anything for me or for him to worry about me but I really appreciate every little thing anyone does for me, even if it is just to ask me how I am from time to time. 

I am going to try my hardest to write a few blog post over the next week and have them scheduled so I that I won't have to miss any due to being sick or just not having the energy. I would like to say thank you to everyone that continues to read these and to everyone that will understand where I am coming from. 

I am going to sign off now as I've taken my sleeping tablets and am half asleep…can I also just say I a, 150 views off of 1000 across all my posts, you guys are the best I love you all for the support and love this is getting!!!

Signing off, 

Scarlett x

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